Happy Mother's Day...I miss you.

This month's blog was supposed to be about making music, and how it relates to our life's journey, but frankly, I'm not feeling it today.  I'm not in the mood.  I don't FEEL like blogging.  I don't feel like laying down any nuggets today.

This is the part where you might want me to apologize, but I can't do that either.  I will however, explain what's happening in my head today: Quite simply... I miss my mom.
It's normal, I know.  It happens just about this time every year. April 18th was her birthday, and here we are, less than a month later and it's almost Mothers Day.  Don't get me wrong; I'm not handing out invitations to a pity party and I'm certainly not sitting here drowning in emotional quick sand. I'll admit that I cried a bit this morning, but right now I'm just missing her.

Do you remember in chapter 2 of my book, With Her & Without Her where I wrote about wanting to pick up the phone to call her? (Yes, I'm assuming you read the book.) Well, I'm feeling a bit of that today. I want to hear her voice. I want to talk to her and tell her about my week. I want to hear her brag about her newest grand-baby, Olivia who was born last week. I want to tell her about my up-coming graduation, and about Imani's birthday plans.  And you know what I really want to do? I want to buy a gift for her. That's it... I want to buy my mother a Mother's Day gift.

I know, I can buy a gift for someone else. Or do something special in memory of my mom. I know, I know... but I'm not going to do those things.  What I am going to do is allow myself some time, some THINK time. I'm going to stop keying... go to my room, and sit quietly. Maybe I'll cry. Maybe not. Whatever I do or don't do will be what's right for me.

Before I lay my head to rest tonight, I will have thanked the Lord for walking with me through this valley, and asked for His company through the next one.  I'll go to sleep, probably thinking about Mom, and when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll say, Good Morning Lord... Happy Mother's Day Mom.